Sunday, May 08, 2016

Dear Indonesia, Let's Talk About Rape Culture

Exactly two years ago I heard a news about a woman who got sexually assaulted by four Transjakarta employee who didn't ended up well in the trial. Long story short, the suspect only got sentenced 18 months in jail, and then they're free. But what makes this story hurt me the most is the story of the trial that I though only happening in the tv soap opera but apparently it's happening in real life. The victim got humiliated and ask by the lawyer of the suspect with the most stupid question.

"What color of your underwear when that happen?"

"Why you using public transportation alone if you're sick? (she got fainted before, that's how she got raped) Why not having someone to accompany you?" 

"If you're supposed to be from Aceh and happen to be a muslim (Aceh is famous with the strict Islamic law) Why you dressed like that?"

"You said you're an educated person, why you dressed so short?"

"Is it true that you got knocked up by someone who wasn't your husband?" (which is such a frustating question because the lawyer clearly wanted to give people an idea because she's not pregnant at the moment)

You can read about the whole story in HERE

And then exactly two years later, the story about a 14 year old girl who found dead caused by gang rape come up. Her name is Yuyun, and the news spread widly 30 days after she found dead. People are upset, the hastag #NyalaUntukYuyun and #YYAdalahKita is been tweeted. She got gang raped by 14 peope until she's dead and the suspects got sentenced for 15 years in jail. 

But no matter how sad and tragic this news may sound, there is still some people who blame the victim for 'walking alone'.

What is it about Indonesia and their rape culture? Why blame the victim for this and that? If the woman in the first case has been found dead like Yuyun, would they still jokingly asking the stupid question to the corpse? Or they only taking this seriously if the victim is found dead? 

Admit it or not, in Indonesia we still 'spountaneously' blame the victim in the act of rape, mostly elderly people who still hold ancient though about woman and her dress and normalized male sexual violence. At least I hear my old relative saying this everytime raped news popped up... 
"Salahnya jalan sendirian malem-malem", "Pake baju apa tuh kok bisa sampe diperkosa", "Makanya besok-besok jalan rame-rame"/"Makanya besok-besok jalan di tempat rame aja biar ngga diperkosa". And then they always and ALWAYS turn their head on me and told me not to walk alone at night and don't wear clothes that showed too much skin. I know it's the act of caring and love, but it's also the act of rape culture.

Told by Melissa McEwan in Rape Culture 101

So what should we do about rape culture? 
Starting by self-taught not to blame the victim about what they wear and WHY this and WHY that. She got sexually assaulted, she doesn't want to get sexually assaulted. I think your 12 years of education + 2 years in kindergarten is smart enough to know who to blame and what to blame. 
Told the boys not to rape, because I don't want my dress code is depending based on your lust. 
Respect those who got raped and still alive. Our little Yuyun is not as lucky as the first victim but she may rather wish to die from the humilliation she takes from the tragedy. This is why only a few woman report a sexual assaulted, some of them rather stay quite and carry the burden by themself. 

I also read about how important it is to have sex eduation in the earlier age. I never had a proper sex education before and honestly, I forgot how I can grown up without sex ed before in my life so I don't know the benefit of it. There is some pro and co about it and I try to educated my self about it and see if Indonesia really needs sex education. 

(I know there is a lot of news about sexual assaulted and honestly I only aware of those news and completely ignore the other because its not as big as those two. Even though I truly believe is equally traumatized and sickening as those two)

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