Sunday, May 08, 2016

Dear Indonesia, Let's Talk About Rape Culture

Exactly two years ago I heard a news about a woman who got sexually assaulted by four Transjakarta employee who didn't ended up well in the trial. Long story short, the suspect only got sentenced 18 months in jail, and then they're free. But what makes this story hurt me the most is the story of the trial that I though only happening in the tv soap opera but apparently it's happening in real life. The victim got humiliated and ask by the lawyer of the suspect with the most stupid question.

"What color of your underwear when that happen?"

"Why you using public transportation alone if you're sick? (she got fainted before, that's how she got raped) Why not having someone to accompany you?" 

"If you're supposed to be from Aceh and happen to be a muslim (Aceh is famous with the strict Islamic law) Why you dressed like that?"

"You said you're an educated person, why you dressed so short?"

"Is it true that you got knocked up by someone who wasn't your husband?" (which is such a frustating question because the lawyer clearly wanted to give people an idea because she's not pregnant at the moment)

You can read about the whole story in HERE

And then exactly two years later, the story about a 14 year old girl who found dead caused by gang rape come up. Her name is Yuyun, and the news spread widly 30 days after she found dead. People are upset, the hastag #NyalaUntukYuyun and #YYAdalahKita is been tweeted. She got gang raped by 14 peope until she's dead and the suspects got sentenced for 15 years in jail. 

But no matter how sad and tragic this news may sound, there is still some people who blame the victim for 'walking alone'.

What is it about Indonesia and their rape culture? Why blame the victim for this and that? If the woman in the first case has been found dead like Yuyun, would they still jokingly asking the stupid question to the corpse? Or they only taking this seriously if the victim is found dead? 

Admit it or not, in Indonesia we still 'spountaneously' blame the victim in the act of rape, mostly elderly people who still hold ancient though about woman and her dress and normalized male sexual violence. At least I hear my old relative saying this everytime raped news popped up... 
"Salahnya jalan sendirian malem-malem", "Pake baju apa tuh kok bisa sampe diperkosa", "Makanya besok-besok jalan rame-rame"/"Makanya besok-besok jalan di tempat rame aja biar ngga diperkosa". And then they always and ALWAYS turn their head on me and told me not to walk alone at night and don't wear clothes that showed too much skin. I know it's the act of caring and love, but it's also the act of rape culture.

Told by Melissa McEwan in Rape Culture 101

So what should we do about rape culture? 
Starting by self-taught not to blame the victim about what they wear and WHY this and WHY that. She got sexually assaulted, she doesn't want to get sexually assaulted. I think your 12 years of education + 2 years in kindergarten is smart enough to know who to blame and what to blame. 
Told the boys not to rape, because I don't want my dress code is depending based on your lust. 
Respect those who got raped and still alive. Our little Yuyun is not as lucky as the first victim but she may rather wish to die from the humilliation she takes from the tragedy. This is why only a few woman report a sexual assaulted, some of them rather stay quite and carry the burden by themself. 

I also read about how important it is to have sex eduation in the earlier age. I never had a proper sex education before and honestly, I forgot how I can grown up without sex ed before in my life so I don't know the benefit of it. There is some pro and co about it and I try to educated my self about it and see if Indonesia really needs sex education. 

(I know there is a lot of news about sexual assaulted and honestly I only aware of those news and completely ignore the other because its not as big as those two. Even though I truly believe is equally traumatized and sickening as those two)

Monday, January 26, 2015

Dear Future Me

I'm so glad this year already jump to 2015. I didn't expect too much but living in the title of 2014 is driving me nuts. A lot of stuff happen, the horrible one.
It's a brand new year, probably still the old me but a lot better. I throw away everything that bothering me in 2014 like old diary book, instagram account, betrayed friend, friend that annoyed my future, friend that only there for my best but never been there for my worse part of me. And yes, I keep my boyfriend so it can keep remind about what I learn in 2014 (but seriously, he just wouldn't let go of my leg. JOKING. No, but literally, yes... he did).
Same old shit, brand new year. I think this year would go so fast in the blink of an eye. So instead of writing about my new year resolution I would write about all of the question I should answer for the next couple of years, that the future me should answer.
Already find your happiness?
Who you married with?
Did you dye your hair green just like you always wanted?
Where are you now? (Describe me!)
Already made a permanent tatto?
How's collage? 
Can you play ukulele now? 
Have you meet an actuall british people yet? (Not Irish, not Scotland... british)

Already made an online shop?
How many watercolor you already draw?
But if you only achieve one of the question I ask on the above, I understand.

NO. Actually, move your fucking ass and start doing something you lazy bitch.

It's not your boyrfriend, family and friend who defined your happiness. It's not about how much likes you get on instagram and facebook or how famous you are in someone else opinion.
NO. It is you who defined your happiness. Built yourself up, respect yourself, and seriously... stop crying and cutting your wrist. 
Don't be basic and be called hipster rather than do something that someone else already do. 
If someone else didn't know any of your favorite stuff like movies, music, etc... GOOD! 
Don't be up upset, it is you who too cool for them. 
Get your ass in trouble as much as you want, but stop once you can already control your very own life when nobody can tell you what to do (re: live in your own house)
Pray more. Read more. Workout more. 
Stop yourself from thinking 'I gotta be prettier next year, a lot more skinny, more clothes and money' like other basic girl wanted to. You are what you are. 
You may born unhappy, trouble always get to follow behing you like a shadow. But take that as a challenge and the adventure is yours. 
You still alive? Good. Look how strong you are now as life already built you. 

Credit: This inspire by my favorite youtuber, Troye Sivan. You could watch his video about Dear Future Me here

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

6 Songs by Florist #ThursdaySong

"Day 4 (1914)
Grab me by my shoulder blades and hang me out o fry I'm a mess
And I need someone to hold me up with that
Eyes just like a skyline even when they're wet and the window is
foggy and the wind has a tint
A bed of flowers, stacks of wood, and a note
A farewell letters from 100 years ago
Please remember to feed the cat
Please remember that I'm never coming back
I was born in 1994
I was born in the 70's
I was born in 1823
And you were born right next to me"
-You need and MUST download the entire song. Florist are a brand new band who just released they're album on 28 May 2014. You can check them out in here.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Tuan Masa Lampau

Tuan, aku dicerca memori masa lalu. Mimpi ini berkalut dalam rindu, berkabut dalam tanya dan terbalut rasa malu karena Tuan yang aku punya sekarang tak akan suka bila ia dapat melihat bilik mimpiku.

Dimimpiku kamu pun sama. Senyum dalam dagumu yang mungil. Mata yang menyipit tiap kali ada tawa. Kaos yang selalu terlihat melebar. Dan bahkan kamu melempar gurauan, tanda alam bawah sadarku tak pernah lupa. Gurauanmu selalu khas. Tanpa sara dan bobot, yang meledek terdengar seperti pujian, kamu jenius dalam tawa.

Lelap dalam mimpiku tapi jangan alam sadarku. Tulisan ini hanya pujian dari bunga otakku yang masih bekerja mengenang kamu, walau jarak memori yang ditempuh pasti cukup jauh. Kamu apa kabar? Hanya itu yang ingin kutau ketika aku sadar. Batas mengenal kabar aku ingin tahu, yang kutakutkan bila rindu menyatu. Karena mau tak mau. Tersungging senyuman ketika mimpi masih segar terbaca, saat kepala masih tersandar dalam tumpukan bulu angsa, saat tangan masih meraba-raba tangan yang tak pernah ada dalam tempatnya. Disaat itulah aku ingin tahu kabarmu secepatnya.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

I Know It's a Chessy Poems But

Kugenggam tanganmu, Tuan
Kugenggam lagi

Sekarang kita berkelana lagi. Senangnya, katamu. Aku tersenyum. Kulirik tangan yang kamu genggam sekarang. Erat, kelewat erat. Saking eratnya mungkin kamu tak ingin aku lepas lagi. Walau betapa inginnya aku untuk pergi darimu, Tuan, setelah setengah perjalanan yang kita lalui kamu sempat berkenala bersama orang lain.
Aku hanya pamit sebentar, kataku.
Aku akan menunggu, katamu Tuan saat itu sambil berurai air mata. Perjalananku hanya untukmu, katamu lagi.
Tuan, aku hanya berbalik sekejap mata. Bukan untuk selamanya. Janji kita akan selalu berkelana bersama tanpa ada orang lain perlu naik ke atas perahu kita hanya hembusan angin belaka.
Sekarang kita berkelana lagi bersama kapal yang telah karam. Ingin kubuat kapal baru sendiri, berlabuh tanpa teduh menuju perjalananku yang akan diarungi sendiri.
Lalu Tuan, kamu genggam tanganku.
Aku ingin berkelana bersamamu sekali lagi, katamu.
Tuan ikatkan sebuah simpul mati antar jari
Tanda aku tak boleh lagi pergi
Tapi perjalanan kita kelewat jauh, Tuan
Biarkan aku berkelana sendiri sekali lagi, kataku.
Kau buat simpul mati tiap hari
Kau ikatkan lagi dan lagi
Dan lagi

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


Gloomy is only existed for those who wandered why life is too bitter for them. 
Loneliness is only existed for those who think there is no one else can understood better than them self. 
Hurt is only existed who still remain believe on true love.
Imperfect is only existed for those people who dare to embrace them self to be different. 

Monday, November 04, 2013

Finally... a song that take your imagination running through the woods and feeling reckless.